tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post2421079616633889984..comments2023-09-23T03:16:38.622-07:00Comments on Fiction & Fitness: He DreamsDawn Embershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-38862760638210850612010-06-06T01:17:31.210-07:002010-06-06T01:17:31.210-07:00drea - Welcome to my blog. This one is the blog wh...drea - Welcome to my blog. This one is the blog where I'll share my stories so you'll get to learn more at some point or another. Glad you stopped by. Noah's a fun character. I have the first novel first draft done of his, so maybe I'll get to work on more and rewrite soon.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-38611934267099671582010-06-05T19:07:27.183-07:002010-06-05T19:07:27.183-07:00I really enjoyed this :D I'm new to your stor...I really enjoyed this :D I'm new to your story & characters but other than a few questions, I could follow the passage and be swept along by the scene.<br /><br />I'm intrigued by Noah and would love to know more about his abilities:PDreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16893913543460569392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-57433009946643934962010-06-05T10:04:07.906-07:002010-06-05T10:04:07.906-07:00Amber - Glad you like it. :-D This may be a scene ...Amber - Glad you like it. :-D This may be a scene I don't change much. I hope to keep it cause the lady in red is fun.<br /><br />Kristie - Aww, why thank you. Indeed, poor Dominic. His dreams are heavily coded, he has to sleep all the time, the only guy who understands all that is taken already (Noah) and now he's getting shocked from random bursts of energy. You'd think he was a main character with what he goes through. heheheDawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-59887390245108822802010-06-05T08:46:44.858-07:002010-06-05T08:46:44.858-07:00This was great, Dawn! It had that dream-like quali...This was great, Dawn! It had that dream-like quality to the tone. And shooting energy off in his sleep? Poor Dominic!Kristie Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01649966564896771373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-54673431257982266702010-06-05T08:24:31.955-07:002010-06-05T08:24:31.955-07:00I agree that the dialogue is great. I really thin...I agree that the dialogue is great. I really think the lady in red is very well done.<br /><br />And to run without direction. <br />I like it. great entry.Amber Lynaehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16890268873178010212noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-51090190215088683922010-06-05T00:56:17.759-07:002010-06-05T00:56:17.759-07:00ooo... more comments!
sarahjayne - the woman was ...ooo... more comments!<br /><br />sarahjayne - the woman was fun to write. Good to know all that dialogue practice in the past has paid off.<br /><br />Hayley - I'm glad you stopped by. I'll check out yours as soon as I can.<br />Two blogfests, two homework assignments and writing = busy me.<br /><br />Donna - Wow. I feel honored by that reaction. :-D <br /><br />It did get a rewrite. Forgot about that when posting. The first draft was for the contest and the second draft got put in the novel but during March when I wrote 67k that month.<br /><br />I'm so glad people like it. I have one other dream that didn't go over well with my crit group in the past, so I feel better about dreams now.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-28544873815837794952010-06-04T23:16:00.655-07:002010-06-04T23:16:00.655-07:00Oh I liked this. I read and read without stopping...Oh I liked this. I read and read without stopping, and that's rare for me. I was so into it I fell off my elbow when it ended.<br /><br />I'd like to beguile you with compliments, but hell, you know how awesome this is. Great job of weaving dream elements in a real fear for him.<br /><br />............dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-1274604154177203532010-06-04T20:05:28.223-07:002010-06-04T20:05:28.223-07:00It was intriguing and I was so drawn in by the cha...It was intriguing and I was so drawn in by the characters, also the dialogue was great. Glad I got to stop by your post, I hope you get a chance to pop by mine.Hayley Lovellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16786674202167099600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-10577509535334360332010-06-04T17:24:42.504-07:002010-06-04T17:24:42.504-07:00I like the woman in red and I really like the dial...I like the woman in red and I really like the dialogue here. Excellent entry for the blogfest. :)sarahjayne smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02589820347348973092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-1840727867763422702010-06-04T14:20:02.675-07:002010-06-04T14:20:02.675-07:00Thanks everyone.
Iapetus - lol. True, you do seem...Thanks everyone.<br /><br />Iapetus - lol. True, you do seem to like running. Interesting character exploration you have. Even if you don't go with it. ;-) I'm in a small contest where we write 15 minutes for 15 days. Today's prompt is Steampunk and that made me think of you. ;-)<br /><br />stu - Well, I can say the distancing part was kind of on purpose, at least. As for telling, sure I'll pretend that's deliberate in the first draft. Yep... on purpose...<br /><br />Raquel - I wasn't sure on the present tense, but right now that's how the series is going. It started first person present, but I like the third person more for this. Keeping it for this draft but not sure it will last.<br /><br />Tessa - Yeah. I've done a few different ones from the novel. Last line blogfest is one and then the dialogue one I think, where the villain acts kinda like a parent.<br /><br />Amalia - Great blogfest. Glad you like that part. I wrote this first for a contest with a prompt of "write about a race between your main character and somebody else. Ideally, this would happen in the ongoing plot." Overall, it was fun to write.<br /><br />Elaine - hehehe. :-D thanks. Glad it came out fast paced for you.<br /><br />Cherree - *takes a bow* thanks to you too for the nice comment.Dawn Embershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00214560861614476799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-65085041362045892582010-06-04T13:07:28.377-07:002010-06-04T13:07:28.377-07:00Ooh, this is great. Great pace.Ooh, this is great. Great pace.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01677563505368503476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-25090395078539981032010-06-04T10:51:54.078-07:002010-06-04T10:51:54.078-07:00Oh, I like this. You are one step towards that any...Oh, I like this. You are one step towards that anyway using Noah. Fast paced and shooting out energy was true of both you and Noah.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-53202433247612332972010-06-04T10:25:21.218-07:002010-06-04T10:25:21.218-07:00I think you did a great job with the woman in red-...I think you did a great job with the woman in red-- her dialogue really echoes her speediness, if that makes sense? You can hear her talking at the same hyper pace as her bouncing. Nicely done!<br /><br />Thanks for participating!Amalia Dillinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13005039978668326144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-70244234445803982312010-06-04T10:05:41.663-07:002010-06-04T10:05:41.663-07:00Wow, great pacing you've got there! Very smoot...Wow, great pacing you've got there! Very smooth read. I want to know more about Noah! (we've seen him before, right?)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046724975658216337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-14665750938864114882010-06-04T09:02:58.439-07:002010-06-04T09:02:58.439-07:00I thought it would be hard to get used to reading ...I thought it would be hard to get used to reading present tense but I actually liked the immediacy it seemed to foster.<br /><br />Loved the sequence...the sentences were great at pacing the reader.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing.Raquel Byrneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12870113745683162915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-824896530561416032010-06-04T07:46:22.764-07:002010-06-04T07:46:22.764-07:00I like the dream, and the odd distancing effect pr...I like the dream, and the odd distancing effect produced by the quite long sentences and what were (I assume) a few deliberate moments of telling rather than showing.stuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16388674850920848503noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926512147242886610.post-52321188999977047102010-06-04T07:42:52.305-07:002010-06-04T07:42:52.305-07:00Hee hee. Of course I'm going to love a running...Hee hee. Of course I'm going to love a running dream! <br />I have them all the time...but I'm always super fast and I never get tired in them.<br /><br />BTW in my current WIP one of my characters is discovering she may not like men after all...not sure I'm going to go with it but it's fun to play with. Thought you might like that.<br /><br />Nice job!Andrew Rosenberghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215333688753781447noreply@blogger.com