Friday, May 7, 2010

Bad Girl

Bad Girl Blogfest
Check out The WriteRunner Blog to see the other entries.

I had this planned out. I was going to write a section of the next chapter in the second book (first isn't written yet but oh well) of Blood Prophesy series. The main character, or one of the more main characters, is the antagonist in the first book. Her name is Phoenix and the WIP title for the second book is Pheonix Rising (I know, I know, it will be changed later on). Was going to write the scene where she investigates the small remains of a person who was carrying an important item, then when she heads out some guy comes up to her talking all tough. He says something about it not being safe for a lady, but she turns the tables fast and uses force skill  to get information from him. That was going to be my scene for today. And you all thought my no dialogue scene had a lot of telling, what I just explained had to be pure telling. lol

But after having to randomly go help my sister yesterday, who lives in a different town, driving her all the way to Aurora, Colorado and back. (That's near Denver for those that don't know.) Spent over 6 hours driving yesterday. Almost got to where she lives, snow storm with icy roads and slid in the big truck on the interstate. Yeah. So, stayed the night on the couch where she lives without my insomnia meds... No sleep. Drove home this morning. Have tons of homework that's late. Basically, I'm tired.

Luck, as I found out, comes in the fact that the first chapter I wrote for Phoenix Rising, based on a dream I had, has a bad girl. The creatures, non-humans with some vampire like qualities but they are not vampires, are hunting the "main character" of the chapter. He has an important item (that I don't know what it is yet) and they want it. Just before getting caught by those hunting him, Abram uses the last of his magic (running out of energy) to send the item away but even he has no idea where because he didn't have time to pick a destination... By the way, her name is Shyva which is at the end of the section submitted for the blogfest.

It's rough, it has errors and details not filled out. But she's bad enough that I'm posting it. I'll comment on other blogs later when I have napped for a bit.

Oh, and it's kinda long, for me. But oh well.

Phoenix Rising Prologue (that's right... I have a prologue. lol)

Abram backed up until he could go no further. The back of his knees pressed against hard padding of a bench that was connected to the wall. He wasn't surprised the first one down was actually a huntress. She was tall, with long dark hair that had been put up in a tight band to keep it from getting in the way. Her cold green eyes stared at him as she approached. She had a smirk formed from her ruby red lips. The red glared sharp contrast against the white of her almost perfect teeth. Abram could tell by the cut of her clothes, they were meant to entice but unknown to the sultry huntress, it would not work on him.

"I have found you at last." She spoke with a strong, purposeful voice, showing no signs of fatigue. "Give 'the item' to me."

"What 'item?' I don't know what you're talking about." Abram danced around the subject.

With a calm stride, her black trenchlength jacket swaying against her long legs, she approached him. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. Now, give it to me." She pushed him off his feet, onto the padded bench. "I will not warn you again."

More of the hunters started to enter the room, moving along the sides of the room to form a half circle, none getting too close. He pulled up any courage he had left to respond, "You can't have it."

With a minimal amount of effort or visible emotion, she grabbed him by the neck, picking him up and pushing him against the back wall. His feet hung just below the bottom edge of the bench. "Your time is running out. I can make this as painless or painful, that is up to you."

Coughing, Abram struggled for air.

With a content smirk, she let go, dropping him.

Taking a couple deep breaths, he gave her the truth. "I can't give it to you because I no longer have 'the item.' I sent it away."

"Where?" She demanded, showing some impatience.

"I don't know."

The answer did not suite her and a look of displeasure crossed her face. She dragged her hand up his chest, wrapping her fingers lightly around his neck, putting some pressure with her fingernails in specific spots.

"It could be anywere," Abram stammered. "For all I know, it could be in your own home. I sent it away without a specified location." He felt his body start to shiver despite his attempts to not show any fear. His energy had been spent and he could no longer pretend. It took all his strength not to give in completely.

There were at least half a dozen others watching, both male and female. Abram knew the end result wasn't going to be pretty. At least he wouldn't be able to watch the pack tear his body apart.

"Since you have cooperated, for the most part," the huntress let go, but straddled his lap in the process making him twitch. "I might allow you some pleasure before you die." Her lips inches away from his left ear.

Abram knew what she wanted. It was obvious based upon her words and actions. Some tales mentioned the enhanced flavor that came from feasting after a pleasurable release, but he would not be giving her the satisfaction.

"I will make you scream," she toyed with him as she attempted to bring his body up to her desired state of being, "in pleasure and then pain."

The crowd along the walls cheered, enjoying the spectacle. All looked hungry and soon began to lose patience as they didn't get the reactions they wanted. At last one dared to suggest, "he doesn't seem to respond to your sexual charisma."

Her spine stiffened, bringing her chest an inch closer to Abram chin. She scowled at the speaker. "No one can resist me. Now back off." She focused on her prey, pressing her nails light against his skin creating a light trail but not breaking the skin of his neck down his chest opening his shirt along the way.

He didn't respond.

More of the watchers began to jeer. "This is taking too long," one complained. Others echoed the sentiment and then a hush fell among them as a throat was cleared.

At the sound, the huntress pushed herself off Abram and stood aside, giving him full view of the new member to join the hunting party. All seemed to bow their heads out of respect, including the huntress with the inflated ego. This told him that the hunter was their leader, and he took a minute to seize him up.

The broad shouldered hunter approached Abram, walking across the room with a slow, purposeful stride. He recognized the hunter from the staircase but now got a better look at his strong body. Even that simple glance caused a stirring in the pit of his stomach as his eyes followed the curves and muscles of the hunter's body. He stood taller than all the others by almost half a foot, had dark hair that ebbed with each step of his thick, black boots. His brown/orange eyes latched upon Abram and almost seemed to glow as they took him in.

Once he made it across the room, the hunter spoke. "Shyva. Your methods will not work with this one." He smiled, exposing his sharp, white teeth.

"He sent the item away," said the huntress, Shyva. She didn't look at the head hunter directly, showing her respect. "So, I began to prepare him for the clan's feast but he is stronger than I expected. It will take a little longer."

The hunter chuckled. "If you continue then we'll be waiting forever."

"No male can resist me," Shyva argued, stepping out of her sudden humble state and returned to the egotistical being she had been before he had interrupted. "I will break his will."

"Your pride has blurred your sense of logic." He dismissed her. "This one is mine."

***** Image Added *****
Kind of like this but wither darker eyes and more distinguishable features.

Make your own awesome doll at!


Iapetus999 said...

Oh no! You've created the only kind of character who can resist a Bad Girl! Not fair!
Thanks for getting this up...I know how you all the excitement of the Blogfest I've only had a couple hours sleep myself.
I hope Shyva gets to work her magic on someone who will respond...she's a lot of fun!
Thanks for participating! Check out my entries and the others when you get some rest!

Tara said...

Shyva's good...but probably not *that* good. Great ending.

Haley Jo said...

That's hot! Shyva seems to be a perfect bad girl. Can't wait to read more.

Dawn Embers said...


Iapetus - Yep. I have found the one who can resist the allure of the bad girl: The Gay Boy! hehehehe

Thanks Tara and Haley Jo.

The ending gets a bit graphic in more ways than one. So, it's gonna stay not on my blog. I like how the chapter turned out overall and I rarely even write prologues. But this one I like and will keep even in rewrite I'm thinking.

Eric W. Trant said...

He' GAY!

Is that why the bad guy said this: "This one is mine."

I love how you showed deference to the big dog when he walked in. Almost an Eastern Asian sort of mentality.

- Eric

elizabeth mueller said...

Hi Dawn! I love how nefarious she sounds. I love how he Abram can resist her and how she won't kill him because of that. I LOVE that kinda tension! Great writing! :D

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks Eric. That is why the guy says that. *nods*

My other idea was going to be fun. What's better than a bad girl? A gay bad girl! In my opinion that's better. But this one will have to suffice for now.

Iapetus999 said...

I've now read all 43 entries and there is no girl-on-girl badness anywhere. :(
What is this country coming to??
Waitaminute...I think I have a bad girl who used to be a guy in one of my scenes I posted...but all she does is get shot so she's not much fun.
Nice picture...I need to check out that site!

Mia said...

Great entry! Shyva embodies a bad girl :P I wish I sould write characters like this! :~)

Have a great weekend

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks everyone.

Elizabeth - Glad you liked the tension.

Iapetus - Yeah. Not surprised. I don't think it's very common to find girl-girl. Or guy-guy. I haven't seen really much except for my own entries in these blogfests.

Mia - Glad you liked her. :-D I'm sure you could write a character like this. I didn't even work that hard at it cause I was trying to get the chapter written before I forgot the dream it came from. So, I bet you could write one like her or badder.

stu said...

You've created a nice character here. Well, not nice, but you know what I mean.

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks Stu. I do know what you mean.

sarahjayne smythe said...

Very cool set up here. I really like it a lot. :)

Dawn Embers said...

:-) Thanks sarahjayne. Glad you liked it.

Simon C. Larter said...

I kinda like Shyva. *cough*

Is she named for the hindu goddess with all those arms? That'd be nifty.

Also, now I want to know why her wiles won't work on Abram. How's he manage that? And how many bits will he be in by the end of the chapter? :)

Nishant said...

Can't wait to read more.
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