Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Retold: a blogfest entry

I almost forgot about this blogfest in the mix of NaNoWriMo but thankfully seeing the host's post reminded me and there is plenty of time to get an entry in even though I'm also trying to write 10k in my nano novel today. And I slept too much when I should have finished it before going to bed. So, this won't be an overly long piece. But I am once again posting a blogfest entry from Cinder Story for those that miss hearing about Jack and the rest of my version of a Cinderella story.

Blogfest Details
The Blogfest, Retold is hosted by "Just Another Sarah" over at her blog, The Wit and Wisdom of Another Sarah. She is a fan of story retellings and wants people to post blogfest entries that retells a story from a different characters point of view. It can be a retelling from a fairytale, myth, history, own novels/stories or anything really and the character point of view doesn't matter either. Just has to tell what is being retold and link if possible.

I actually retold a scene in a different point of view in my nano novel to get a better insight into a dwarf character but I'm going to limit my nano posts (one should be up tomorrow anyways) and found a section of my Cinder Story to retell.

About the Entry
This is going to be a retelling of a scene I wrote for a different blogfest. The first version of the scene was posted on October 7th for a blogfest known as At First Sight. It was the first appearance of the Prince character. Since this is a retelling, I get to do the scene over again from Prince's point of view. While it wouldn't be in the actual book, it is always fun to see things from a different character. The fact that he has attraction to males too is a secret until the very end from the main character, Jack's point of view.
 First Sight scene link

The Actual Entry

Staring down at the touch screen smart phone in his hand, Prince frowned noticing the time of the text message versus the actual time in the top right corner of the phone. He was already late and the predetermined coffee shop for the scheduled meeting was still a few blocks away.

"Remind me why we ended the basketball game early again?" The tall shaggy blonde in red and black gym clothes asked as he followed Prince and their other two friends.

"I'm late for a meeting and it's not going to make a very good first impression if I ditch it for a basketball game with some loser friends of mine."

The thinly veiled insult was ignored by his friend who continued his own jabs as they walked.  "You really ended the game so you could go meet some guy? I thought you were trying to date that one chick."

Prince wished he'd chosen to go alone but couldn't take back the offer of coffee for the rest. Not that he regretted ending the game because there was no way he was going to lose since his team had been up twenty points when they quit early so he could try to make the meeting. "I am. This is a meeting with her father's personal assistant."

Conversations over the topic ended as they reached their destination. He was only twenty minutes late but that was enough to make him feel bad. While the other guys stepped into line, joking and checking out the coffee baristas that were working there that day, Prince returned his focus to his phone. In the text he'd been sent the assistant had listed his coordinates so he would be able to find him in the somewhat busy coffee shop. Despite the enticement of coffee, he looked around the room instead of at the order board in search of the person he was supposed to be meeting.

Based on the information in the text about table placement, paintings on walls and an odd sculpture near a wall, he looked over to the logical spot for his meeting. There was a table with a well dressed young male. He assumed that was who he was meeting and was pleasantly surprised. He'd assumed it would be  an older man judging whether he was good enough for the tycoon's daughter but this guy was young, well-built and rather attractive. Not moving, Prince spent a couple of minutes looking the assistant over before making his approach without even ordering a coffee.

"Are you," Prince said as he made it close enough to the table to garner the dark haired males attention, "Jack?"

"Yes." The man looked at him seeming a bit confused at first. "Oh. Are you..."

Before the question was even asked, he interjected. "Prince. That's me." He smiled, trying not to make it obvious that he was checking out the assistant as he pulled out a chair to sit in at the table.

"So, you really think you're cool enough for a name like that?"

It was an odd question but amused Prince enough that he chuckled. While unorthodox the question was enough to ease the slight awkwardness of first meeting by bringing humor to the table. He smirked and then gave his response with a shrug. "Not really but it's what people call me."


Just Another Sarah said...

You know, I should have probably hosted this blogfest at a time that wasn't in the middle of NANO, but thanks so much for taking part, anyway! I liked the way this retelling worked, and I liked the way your story seemed both modern and old-fashioned. I' going to hunt down your other entry, the one this one is based off, and compare! :) This is great--thanks!

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks Sarah. I enjoyed the blogfest.

Melissa Dean said...

I gave you a blog award! Congrats! Love your blog!
Go by and pick it up @www.melissaddean.com


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