Friday, February 11, 2011

YAmore blogfest

(#Randomfest entry is located below this one.)

That's right. Two in one day. This is the YAmore, also known as Young Adult romance, blogfest. The host is the blog, Oasis for YA. While I tend to write adult, I'm all for having young adult stories that include minor romance plots (not as into full on romance novels but that's cause I don't even read full romance novels as an adult). Plus, it's always fun to show gay boys in love and I definitely won't let that opportunity pass me.

About the blogfest:

"Starting the Friday before Valentine's Day (that's February 11th), we invite you to post 250 romantic, swoon-worthy words from your YA WIP.  Then check out the entries from some of the other participants.  (Just be sure you have a fan and/or a cold glass of water on hand.)  We know your Valentine will appreciate you getting yourself in a romantic state of mind..."

But keep it YA.

My entry was hard to pick because I only have a couple YA novels that I've worked on at all, but I have a number waiting to be written. I didn't know which to use, and any newer ones would mean picking character names, which is a struggle for me. Going with the dystopian novel that I'm going to write in March. Still working on character names and such. Sorry if it's too long. I'm not a flash fiction writer. I struggle with a 869 word contest let alone getting romance feelings through in 250 words. Will try to keep it as short as I can.

My Entry:

It's an awkward moment for Sage. Standing in the room with his only friend, Wyck, who looks ready to either cry or curse and unable to do anything about it. But he can't comfort him, not in front of Wyck's father. It would be too weird.

"You should stay and eat something," Wyck's father says. "I have to record the monster, where the breech happened and figure out what supplies we have to patch the hole in the bottom of the border."

Then he leaves and Sage takes a step forward but he doesn't make it over far enough. His mind races with comments made recently; how there were people who thought their friendship was something more. How Wyck's father even mentioned the idea but he doesn't care if they are because all he wants is his son to be happy and maybe talk to him. He hopes Wyck knows how lucky he is to have a father who cares that much about him.

Soon words startle to fumble in almost sentences from Wyck as he clenches the back of a wooden chair. "That woman. She, what did I ever do, why? I don't get, it's like she wants me to lose everyone I care about."

Sage wants to comfort him. He doesn't like the woman either but he can't say for sure she is even able to plan such an attack to happen. "She didn't. Your father is fine and I barely have a few scratches from tripping."

He doesn't respond but it's obvious he is holding back from crying now.

After many thoughts of how to make things better, Sage finds himself doing something he hadn't considered. Moving in front of Wyck, he places his arms around him with the intentions of just a hug. Then he presses his forehead against Wyck's and theirs lips touch for a moment. At once, he let's go and backs away saying as fast as he can, "I'm sorry."

Wyck doesn't look angry at least, but he does say, "don't," before getting interrupted.

"I know. I shouldn't have. It's people, they have said things and it made me wonder. I should probably go." Sage starts to leave until Wyck grabs his bicep, pulling him back.

"No," Wyck says, "I meant don't be sorry."


Jessica Lei said...

Love the conflict here with Wyck's feelings, yet unable to really express them around his father. I was a bit confused with the narrator? Is there one--or is this in Sage's point of view?

The romantic tension didn't develop for me until the tiny moment they kissed. But when it did, it was super sweet. Wondering what Wyck can say to soothe Sage's insecurities about the whole thing.

L'Aussie said...

Hi Dawn! Sage confused me because I have it in my mind as a girl's name and even though you said 'his' friend Wyck I kept reading girl. I got a bit of a jolt when they kissed. That's YAmore!


Dawn Embers said...

Jessica - I understand. I struggle with the staying in point of view when in third. Plus both are technically the main characters in the book but I meant for the scene to be from Sage's point of view.

L'Aussie - That's okay. Some entries I read that were in first person, I thought the boy was a girl. It's too bad too cause we need more glbt stories on these blogfests.

Jessie Harrell said...

I liked that you entered an lgbt piece - and I really like what Wyck meant by "don't" - that part was super-sweet. thanks for joining in the blogfest!

Sophia Richardson said...

Awesome, I hadn't thought to expect a LGBT kiss scene so this was a fun surprise. There's definitely a lot more at stake when you have a same gender couple which makes for higher emotions. I wish we got more of Sage's feelings following their brief kiss although his immediate reaction (to apologise) is very telling. Of course, I loved Wyck explaining that he meant he didn't want Sage to apologise, it makes for a great cliffhanger ending e.g. is Sage going to try to kiss him again?

One thing I would say is that you bury the "don't" dialogue. If what you meant by Wyck getting interrupted is that Sage interrupts him (which is understandable, he jumps on the defensive, plus he's the next speaker and you don't mention Wyck's father returning) I would suggest you cut the 'getting interrupted' part and just show Sage speaking, doing the interrupting. This was a good entry!
- Sophia.

Dawn Embers said...

Jessie - Thank you for commenting. I'm always happy to supply glbt stories. :-)

Sophia - Thanks for reading my entry and I appreciate your comments. When I edit I'll definitely be working on the buried dialogue. I may do the scene in Wyck's point of view in the novel since the chapter before is in Sage's or will be for sure.

Marie Rearden said...

Oh, no! Keep going, please!

So sorry I'm late in getting around to the YAmore blogs. This was just getting good. :) I like the forbidden fruit, feelings in secret, internal struggle of this passage. And the name Wyck really works for me. Keep writing!



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