Saturday, July 17, 2010

Blogfest of Death

This is a blogfest I signed up for awhile ago and if you go to the blog with the lists of entries, you'll see that I was second to sign up. While this is a little like the murder scene, it opens the death possibilities to anything and has drawn a great amount of people who signed up. My entry section will be at the bottom of this post, but first I wanna talk about something. (As usual)

I've come to realize something about blogfests. While they are great fun, and I have one of my own listed on my other blog, there is a risk of giving too much away. I enjoy sharing my scenes but there has to be a limit as to how many different scenes from one novel I post (even though most will be rewritten to a certain extent since they are all first drafts except one).

So, here's what I'm thinking. Either I monitor how many scenes per novel I show, sometimes using one scene for different blogfests (like I am doing today)... Or, I can write new scenes for each blogfest. Make up a story that is for blogfests only (or choose one from my list of 60+ ideas since I don't really need another one). I like the idea of the second option but we'll see how it goes.

But to get right to the topic at hand, here is the blogfest.

Blogfest of Death
Hosted by Tessa over at Tessa's Blurb
Basic idea behind the blogfest is to post a scene involving death. Someone has to die in the scene, main rule.

Since this is about death, anyone uncomfortable with that topic and reading about it shouldn't read a single entry for the blogfest. Just saying...

My entry is the same one from the Murder Blogfest posted on my other blog. It's from my older character (as in not YA) mutant novel that has a finished first draft. The scene is the end of the confrontation with the Villain.


The Scene

Valk began to move. The shaking had subsided but he still groaned from the pain he'd experienced. He struggled, pulling himself to his knees. It took him a few minutes before he was able to settle on his knees and look up at Noah.

"Now you're done." Noah said, breaking the silence. He had another bolt of energy ready but his anger waned seeing the damage he'd already caused. Even though he hated Valk, he still couldn't find enough reason to kill him.

"Noah, finish him off. You can do it." Bastian spoke, yelling down from his position of clutching the railing.

He raised his hand towards Valk as the man started to pull his body across the floor towards a table near the panel of computers. It held a selection of notebooks, a few gadgets and a small handgun.  Noah watched but wasn't able to go through with it. The memories of the few good things Valk had done for him were enough to make his death unwarranted.

Valk made it to the table and started to pull himself up.

Noah dimmed the energy, no longer resolved to act, but kept a little prepared just in case.

"What are you doing?" Bastian sounded concerned. "He has a weapon. Do something."

But he didn't do what Bastian wanted. Instead, Noah spoke in Valk's direction. "Don't even think about it, Valk. You're done, accept it and face the consequences for your actions."

Valk didn't speak as he stood up. His gaze settled on Noah as his hand rested on the table.

A cracking sound echoed through the room and Valk collapsed on the floor. Blood started to ooze from his lifeless body.

Noah stared, his mouth open as his stomach wrenched. The look on Valk's face remained etched in his mind as he stared down at the body before looking upward in Bastian's direction. Bastian stood, holding himself steady with one hand on the rail, the gun still aimed downward in his other hand.

29 comments:

Tessa Conte said...

Great scene!

I like Noah. Strong enough to "shoot" (or is that zap? What do you do with energy bolts?) Valk in the first place, but not ruthless enough to do it again. Although I kind of think he might have, had Valk already had the gun in his hand...?

I totally get what you mean about posting too much of your work... although it's kind of nice to get to know other people's characters over time.

Thank you so much for taking part in my Blogfest o'Death. BIG HUG for signing up second!!

Tessa.xx

ps Winner of Amazon voucher will be announced Thursday...

Justin W. Parente said...

This is a good piece with minor issues. The first thing that stuck out is the PoV slip at the very start, with me being in Valk's PoV and then it slips to Noah. Be cautious. You also have some telling words, but all in all, an interestingly-drawn scene. It feels supernatural, but forgive me if that is not the genre.

stu said...

I like the tension of the decision making in this, and the way the scene plays out.

One tiny thing: "Bastian spoke, yelling down" he's either speaking or yelling, not both.

I agree with you about writing new scenes. After all, you want people to read this when they buy the book.

L. Hild said...

That last paragraph was chilling. I enjoyed reading this!

Renae said...

Very intense scene. I agree with what Stu said about the one teensy part but other than that, great stuff!

Andrew Rosenberg said...

I agree about the blogfest comments...especially those involving death, since death scenes sometime form the crux of novels.
Lately I've been posting deleted scenes. I'm hoping that what I post are more teasers than spoilers.
But I do edit the scenes to removed anything that might be spoilers, so even the scene I posted today isn't exactly the same as what I cut.
Anyways, I like Bastion. He just acts. Nice job!

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks everyone for the comments.

Tessa - Glad you like him. I enjoyed writing his book, which helped me get 67k done in one month.

Justine - I think mutants are usually classified in sci-fi than supernatural, but either way works for me. Basically the main character has a genetic mutation, which I usually explain before the excerpt.

stu - Thanks. I'll keep those notes for when I edit since this is a first draft. ;-)

L. Hild - :-D Glad you like it.

Renae - Yeah. I agree with Stu too. hehehe

Andrew - True. And this scene technically is at the end of the book but I made the decision to share long ago, so no turning back now. But it is a first draft so maybe parts of it will change. Bastian is strong by the end, in part to being gone for part of the book as he joins the military. I think it was a good choice for his character cause he sounds better this way.

Lovy Boheme said...

I post flash fiction on my blog, period. I never post anything from my WiP...though I was tempted to for this one. Since you have a lot of time to plan and if it doesn't get too much in the way of your regular writing schedule, then writing new scenes for blogfests is a good way to go, I think.

This is my first encounter with you and your work, so first...howdy! Second, I'm intrigued enough to where I want to know the context for this scene. I liked Noahs inner conflict here. I was kind of waiting for one last hurrah from Valk, but perhaps he had already wreaked enough havoc by this point. :) Good job!

Megan Oliphant said...

Great teaser, Dawn...I definitely wanted to see "what happened after". :)

Raquel Byrnes said...

I liked the scene. It seemed part a bigger moment though and I wish I could know a little more a bout what's going on. Great tension.

WritersBlockNZ said...

Wonderfully tense scene. Loved the POV. Great job!

Donna Hole said...

Great scene Dawn. I liked the internal conflict Noah went through. He seems an intriguing character.

.......dhole

Sangu said...

Very nice scene!

I know exactly what you mean. I'm always struggling to think of scenes to show, because there's always the risk of giving too much away!

Mia said...

Whoa that last paragraph was powerful. I enjoyed the tension here :)

I know what you're saying about giving too much away in these fests *nods* I tend to now only post scenes that I've written for the blogfest because, well cause I am protective ;)

Eric W. Trant said...

I've laid off the blogfests a bit myself, owing to your exact point on giving out too much information. I don't have the energy to write a new scene every time a BF pops up, either.

Publishers don't like it much when you post all your work on your blog, you know.

That said, thanks for the snippet! I don't know what the hell's going on, but it sounds like magic v. modern weaponry. Reminds me of Heroes.

- Eric

wantonactsofwriting said...

From what I understand, the standard is Chapter 1 only. I used a scene that I've cut from the novel just to be safe.

I was very curious as to what Valk's intentions were at the computer table. What could be so important as to drive a dying man to not defend himself, but drag himself back to the table? Good job evoking this!

jinxieg said...

Very nice excerpt. I enjoyed it. And I agree about limiting what you post. I generally won't post more than a first chapter or part of a first chapter of any WIP on my writer blog.

Dawn Embers said...

Lovy - Why thank you. Glad you have you viewing my blog. The scene after this was rather tough to write but endings are important.

Megan - :-)

Raquel - Thanks. The buildup to this would probably help but gotta keep that a secret till the books are done and with any luck out, published.

WritersBlock - Glad you like the POV.

Donna - I like Noah. He's fun and hope others see it.

Dawn Embers said...

Sangu - Thank you. Glad I'm not the only one.

Mia - ((mia)) :-D

Eric - Yeah. I try not to do to many of them, though I take part in many. There are some I don't bother with even though I hope they do well. And I know about the whole publishing thing.

Wantonacts - The stuff before does explain Valk a bit. He did just receive a large bolt of electricity.

Jinxieg - Interesting. I don't often give much of the first chapter away unless relevant. Good to know. Thanks.

Delia said...

I'm with Lovy. I only post shorts and flash, never excerpts from The Novel. I'm secretive like that. :) Nice work, but, yes, mind the head-hopping.

Dawn Embers said...

Delia - thanks for the comment. It does kind of sound in Valk's with how it started but the rest of the chapter helps make it not sound like that. I'll fix the slight aspect in the rewrite. I have so many novels, I don't do real flash or shorts because they're almost all for novels. I don't do short writing very well.

RaShelle said...

Great tension. I like Noah. Good scene!!

Nicole Murray said...

I also loved the tension you places into a not so long scene. Good Job! But I did get a bit confused with POV slips. Those get me on occasion. Thank you for sharing with us!

Mesmerix said...

Hey Dawn, I liked this snippet. Noah stands out as the most interesting character, though Bastion makes me wonder if he's a hero or a villain. There were a couple PoV slips as others have pointed out, but I'm sure you'll get those in editing. It's a great first draft!

Dawn Embers said...

RaShelle - Why, thank you.

Nicole - Glad the tension comes through in this draft at least.

Mexmerix - :-D Bastian is interesting. You probably wouldn't recognize him in the beginning, before he joins the military. He's a decent guy but there will be issues in the next book between them (since he's Noah's boyfriend).

Roh Morgon said...

For the last several blogfests, I've used minor characters from my WIP and create side stories or alternate scenes using them. It's kinda cool - that way I get to play in the WIP world, but aren't giving anything away.

As for your entry, I love the ending. Very visceral

Dawn Embers said...

Roh - Good idea. I just don't always have time to write something new and just grab a pre-written piece that fits in the blogfest. Oh, and thanks.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

I want to know what Valk did to cause such a conflict in Noah. And what made Bastian so sure he had to kill him.

My Blogfest of Death entry! Finally!

Dawn Embers said...

Rebecca T - Thanks for the comment. :-) I'm glad it causes curiosity, even though if it's published, those would be answered before this scene.

Fun

I write like
Arthur Conan Doyle

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I write like
Mark Twain

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!