Wednesday, July 7, 2010

WIP I Cant Say It Blogfest

It's another WIP Wednesday and it happens to fall on yet another blogfest. Really, I didn't plan it this way. I was signed up for hte blogfest long before I started the WIP Wednesday. Since this is only week 2 of the schedule it's believable right? lol

I Can't Say It Blogfest

The host is Shelley at Stories in the Ordinary
"Have you written a scene where a character has something to say (even better if it's something s/he needs to say) but can't quite get the words out? Or are you up for writing one?"
So, the goal is to write a scene where a character wants/needs to say something to someone but are unable to do such. Yeah, I just reworded what you know already at this point but that's okay. My scene is a rough draft with a minor edit in that I deleted a few minor words. lol... Enjoy!

The Novel: Angel//Demon

I'm going with this novel yet again because it's a scene that has already been shared on Writing.com and was written for a short story writing class. It actually comes after the secret scene, where Elijah(the angel) is talking to one of his wards that he guards. After reading a quotation that says that even silence can be lying, he goes home and struggles with that idea. While Lucas is a minor demon, he doesn't know that his boyfriend, Elijah, is an angel.

The Scene:

Elijah closed his eyes, bowing his head down as he stepped forward to meet the torrent of water that escaped the shower head. The cleansing citrus smell of his shampoo combined with the hot air and helped him relax as he breathed in. Once done with the exfoliation and removal of soap, he paused to stare at the dark blue bottle that belonged to his boyfriend. Lifting it, he took a whiff and sighed. He could picture Lucas, and imagine the smell lingering from his blonde spikes.

Guilt started to form in his stomach, tightening into a twisted knot. Lucas had no idea who he really was and that omission, that silence felt wrong. He was lying to the only man he'd ever been able to get close to and it pained him.

Cold water against his shoulder woke Elijah from his guilt trance and he turned it off. Stepping out of the shower on a flat mat covering the white tiles, he grabbed a white towel and dried off. He pulled on a pair of white boxers before wrapping a dry towel around his wast and stepping out into the hallway.

"I'm home."

Lucas' timing always seemed to amaze him. He felt almost naked, having to cover his bare chest with his arms. It wasn't necessary but he couldn't stop himself. "Did you have a good shift?" Elijah watched as Lucas tossed his jacket on the couch.

"It was alright." Lucas sauntered to the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of a golden liquor before stopping at the edge of the hall. "I broke another cup and the bran muffins burned again."

"Do you think that not telling someone something is lying?" He let the question out, realizing the randomness of it.

It did catch Lucas' attention as he took a slow drink while staring back. Once the glass was down, he gave his answer. "No... I don't think not telling everything is lying. I mean, we can't tell each other every single thing we see, think, or feel. Can we?"

"I guess not."

"As long as you're not hiding something big." He looked at the glass before adding, "You seeing someone else?"

The question caught him off guard. "No. I would never..."

"Okay then," Lucas interjected. "I doubt you could ever lie, anyways. You're too innocent."

12 comments:

Tessa Conte said...

Great scene! I love your Elijah/Lucas scenes (secret fan of the m/m thingy).

The smell of his boyfriend's shampoo...that's a great detail (I'm big on scents myself, it's so basic yet so important!).

Also love the way Elijah just blurts out with the 'is not telling lying' question, like it's weighing too heavy on his mind to be contained...GREAT STUFF!

PS thanx for popping by and reading my entry, especially getting past the first "you" ; P

Shelley Sly said...

Awww... the interaction between them is adorable. And yet, I can tell there's so much under the surface. Plus, bonus points to you for talking about not talking! :D I'd be interested in reading more of this, sounds intriguing.

Thanks for participating! :)

Theresa Milstein said...

I feel the "I can't say it". So much for innocent! I'd love to read more.

maybe genius said...

Aw, very sweet. I like the scents you incorporated. Now I'm curious how an angel keeps his identity secret from a demon :D

Dawn Embers said...

Tessa - LOL thanks. If you're a fan of m/m then you'll like most my stuff, cause that's what I write most of the time. ;-) PS... no problemo.

Shelley - Thank you. Thought the scene would work well for the blogfest. And, I think I've finally figured out where in the novel it will go. Too bad I'm still on the chapter where they first meet for now.

Theresa - So much for innocent indeed. Well, there is his past which dulls the innocence too but I won't get into that here. lol

Maybe Genius - love the name by the way. Thanks for the comment. Some demons can tell when someone's an angel but Lucas is minor and newish still. Elijah doesn't know yet that Lucas is a demon either. Should be interesting when the truth comes out.

WritersBlockNZ said...

Hehe Elijah was lucky Lucus gave him an easy out. I loved the way you showed how uncomfortable he felt. Great scene.

February Grace said...

Ah, poor Elijah! So in love, so tormented...I would have happily kept right on reading to see what happened next!

bru

Nicole Murray said...

It sounds like Lucas doesn't want to know. What a easy out. And I do like how he just blurted out his lie question.

So, can a angel and a minor demon find and keep love?

Dawn Embers said...

WritersBlockNZ - Glad the uncomfortableness came through. Too bad I couldn't post the rest of the scene but need to keep some parts of the novel a secret.

February - Exactly! Scenes like this is why part of the novel has to be from his point of view. He's a great character.

Nicole - That is a good question and key to the overall plot of the paranormal romance. ;-)

L. Hild said...

I loved how you could tell that Elijah just couldn't hold back what he was thinking anymore. It worked very well, and the details were excellent! "Bran muffin" feels much more real than just a muffin.

Dawn Embers said...

L. Hild - :-D Thanks. I like the minor details as they do make it more real in many cases.

Donna Hole said...

Guilt trip, yum. This relationship is developing nicely.

Do I tell you that you use too many "he" pronouns every time I stop by? I'll try not to do that this time.

And I loved the shampoo line too.

Sorry I'm so late stopping by. I have a whole list of excuses. But I'm glad I finally made it here. I always enjoy your posts - and the new stuff you're doing.

.........dhole

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