Saturday, July 31, 2010

Milestone Blogfest Entry

Stalker Love Letter Blogfest entry is located below this post.

Today is also the Milestone Blogfest by Donna Hole.
Check here for Donna's Blog and Blogfest Entries

This is also going to be my first, but not last, blogfest entry using the novel idea chose for blogfests. A little uncertain how this will go since all entries will be first drafts, but guess we'll wait and find out. First, about the blogfest.

The goal of the blogfest is to write about a milestone achieved/celebrated by either fictional or real people. I have gone with fiction. A milestone can be a variety of things. Some may write about goals met, nanowrimo success could be a milestone in this case. Others will have life events like first day of school, weddings, birthdays, or graduations. It all depends on what the writer wants to celebrate.

My Entry: Cinder Story
The main character is Jack. This scene is before he gets the nickname Cinder, before he has even met Ella and her stepsisters. It's the beginning and he has 2 things to celebrate. I just wrote this so errors, viewpoint issues and such should be consumed with a grain of salt. Also, I'd like to do more details, types of drinks, type of cell phone, but for now I'm tired so it can wait. Also, I'm only doing minor edits before posting. So, umm.. Enjoy.



The Scene:


A quick glance at a cell phone caused a curse as Jack opened the door to the Stilton Bar & Grill. He was more than a little fashionably late and would hear about it from his friends. But he didn't care. It was a great day.

"May I help you." The hostess smiled as she picked a menu from her stand and glanced over the seat chart.

Jack waived her off. He could hear his friends already. Seems they started the celebration without him. "I'm good. My party is here already." He made his way to the back bar and his friends.

"Jack! It's about fricking time. What excuse do you have now?" Eathan was the first to speak with Lisa following right after.

"Yeah. Late for your own damn party."

He shrugged and ordered his first drink before settling down in the one open seat available. "Sorry all but I promise I have a good reason."

Lisa pulled a box on the table, taking the lid off to display a green decorated cake. "Okay, birthday boy. Why were you late for this?"

"What kind of cake is it?"

"Chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and vanilla creme frosting, just like you wanted." She smiles, lifting the cake a little displaying the grass field decoration.

When the bartender brought Jack his drink, Eathan ordered a round of shots before prodding Jack further on his tardiness. "Yeah. So, what is this great reason for being almost 2 hours late?"

He grinned, taking a sip of his drink before bothering to give an answer. It was his night and he planned to enjoy every minute. And once everyone else knew his second reason to celebrate the party would really kick off. After a long pause, he finally told them. "I had a call back from an interview I did a couple weeks ago and it went longer than expected."

"And?" Eathan tapped on the bar counter. He was never a patient one.

Taking a deep breath, he ended the suspense. "I got the job. Full benefits, great salary and potential to move up in the company. It's what I've been searching for and I got it." With that the shots arrived and everyone took a glass.

Amongst the congratulations and happy birthday cheers, they all raised their shot glasses. It was time to celebrate.

9 comments:

Justin W. Parente said...

This was a nice scene, but do watch out for some of those passives that signal telling. Just a few to help you edit: "caused Jack to curse" and "Eathan was the first to speak." Also, in "Chocolate cake with chocolate mousse" paragraph, you say "she smiles." Should be smiled. Sorry for the tiny crit session, but help along if I can. Either way, I great scene and example of the milestone.

Tessa Conte said...

Great scene! And great reason to celebrate (with green cake! love it!).

I'm also rather intrigued by the idea of male Cinders and Ella and her stepsisters....great twist!

Dawn Embers said...

Justin - thanks for the comment. These are the types of things I do in first drafts, so you're correct on what I need to edit. Also, doesn't help that I'm writing present tense in one novel and past in others.

Tessa - Thanks. :-D I always liked the idea but wasn't sure what to do with it and publish wise it's not as fun as say mutants or boats that fly. hehehe So, I'm glad to have an outlet for it now.

stu said...

Two milestones in one post. Well done.

Dawn Embers said...

stu - Thanks. :-)

February Grace said...

Woo hooo, a happy milestone for a character. Awesomeness!

bru

Donna Hole said...

Yes, and I'll be doing the same thing if/when I get the promotion to the supervisor position I applied for at my day job. :)

Oh, I just got a happy glow from this reading.

Thank you for participating; and thanks for commenting on my own post. I know it was long. Blogger ate my responses twice; but why my posts are so long is because I rarely do any new writing, and when I do, I just get carried away.

Anyway, thanks for joining in.

........dhole

Dawn Embers said...

February Grace - hehehe. I like your response.

Donna - Hi there. Thanks for hosting the blogfest ;-). I'm glad you got a happy glow and good luck with the supervisor position (hope you get the promotion).

Christopher S. Ledbetter said...

Happy Happy Joy Joy! Milestones are certainly meant to be celebrated!

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