Saturday, June 5, 2010

Beach Scene

Yep. The second blogfest. Don't worry... I have less to say beforehand.

This blogfest is about beaches, and having a beach scene, which is not something I write about very often. I don't do settings at the ocean or lake or whatever. Not sure why. I almost thought I would have to write a new scene but then I remembered an old story from 2007 that takes place on a beach. Here is the details and entry.

The Blogfest: Beach Scene Blogfest - hosted by  Rachel Bateman. Check out the link to see other entries.

My entry is not from a novel. I know, shocking. No mutant stories or anything like that. This is just a random story I wrote for a contest on writing.com called Writer's Cramp. It won that day and has been edited slightly. But it was written 3 years ago, so my writing is a bit better now. The main character in the story is going for a jog on the beach, alone. I had a hard time figuring how much of the story to show, so hope I pick the right length.

The Story: The Find After the Storm

The silver jeep door opened next to the plank boardwalk, with a soft click. Rich stretched his sneaker clad feet out while using the handle to help propel himself from the vehicle.

"Why do you insist on coming here?" Isaac interjected from the driver's seat before Rich had the chance to shut the door.

Staring out at the beach line, Rich responded. "I'm drawn to the ocean. It gives me a sense of peace." He closed the door in an effort to end the conversation but the window was down.

"You won't find him out there. You do know that, don't you?"

His reference didn't pass Rich. The recurring dream had haunted him since the age of seven. Each time, there was a boy with blue eyes staring at him through the deep ocean water. The look given by the boy haunted his waking hours.

"Probably not," he admitted. "But you never know."

Isaac's head moved from side to side in disapproval and drove away.

Looking out towards the distant beach, Rich sighed. He was alone, at last.

The boardwalk was empty that morning as it almost always was at six. A storm had torn across the beach front throughout most of the night. Debris lay across the sand, everywhere. The sun started its very slow ascent but was barely visible through the gray clouds that lingered above the land.

Rich started jogging on the boardwalk after a quick stretch. The only sound that reached his ear was the waves lapping the beach. He didn't own an ipod but he didn't want one either. It took him twenty minutes to get to the other side of the boardwalk.

As good as it felt to jog, the walk back along the beach was his favorite part. The debris cluttered each step, but hidden treasures lay underneath. In ten minutes, Rich collected three sand dollars, one tiny conch and a silver hoop. Feeling successful, he rested for a minute on a large piece of drift wood.

Rays of sun light began to peak through the clouds exposing the deep green color of the distant sea. Waves crawled towards the beach, a slow reprieve from the rough night storm.

Standing, Rich scanned the line in front of him, looking for the next treasure. A strange pattern of wave caught his attention. His eyes followed it to the source, a large object disrupted the otherwise systematic pattern.

At first he disregarded the object, but in taking another glimpse, Rich squinted to make out more details.

"Oh shit." He said, realizing the object that disrupted the waves was a human body.

21 comments:

Tessa Conte said...

Wicked beach scene! I agree with Rich, who needs an Ipod on the beach? The waves keep much better time.

So, is the body that of the boy he dreams of? Something else entirely? Come on, tell us! ; )

Kristie Cook said...

Ooohhh...creepy end. I also am wondering if it's the boy's body. So, do we get to read the rest of the story????

rachelbateman said...

Oh man, I have to know if the body belongs to the boy in the dream! you are cruel to cut us off right there. ;)

Reading this reminded me just how much I miss living near the beach. When I lived in Hawai'i, I jogged the beach every day. It is so calming. And I totally agree with Rich - nothing on an iPod could compete with the sound of the waves!

Thanks for playing.

Charity Bradford said...

Oh, this was so nice and then the twist at the very end was brilliant! Wonder whose body it is?

Mia said...

WHOA, I likes this :) I was reading away merrily thinking about the boy and the dream and how I liked the images you painted here and then BAM, a human body. Brilliant twist ;)

sarahjayne smythe said...

Wicked cool ending. Makes me want to know more. Great entry for the blogfest.

L'Aussie said...

Nothing like a dead body to disrupt the peace of the beach sans ipod. Great entry...)

Iapetus999 said...

I don't know if I've ever gone to the beach and brought back a dead human body. That would a be pretty awesome trophy!

Nice.

Dawn Embers said...

Yay for comments. I'm behind on commenting with these two blogfests, so hope I can read all the entries as well.

Thanks everyone.

Tessa - I don't have it really answered whether it's the one from the dream or not. It's a short story but like most of my stories it's more of a section of a bigger story that I haven't figured out just yet.

Kristie - good question. I almost edited the story to submit but missed the deadline. I might post the second half at some point but haven't made that decision yet.

rachel - hehehe. Yeah, it's a bit harsh to cut off there. Almost posted the last half instead of first but think this was a good choice. I like walking on beaches but don't get to them much since I live in Wyoming.

Charity - That is indeed a question this leaves. Who is the body and are they alive? Well, the second part is answered in the short story but not the who.

Mia - :-D Why thank you. *bows* hehehe

sarahjayne - Glad you liked it. I'm glad I didn't write something random for it as this story seems to be going over well.

L'Aussie - Indeed. Nothing quite like that.

Iapetus - hehe.. True, that is... if the body is actually a dead body. ;-)

L. Hild said...

Ahh such a cliffhanger! So much for Rich thinking the ocean is full of peace! Nice work.

Dawn Embers said...

L. Hild - Yep. It's a cliffhanger all right, and fun. hehehe. Thanks.

Amie McCracken said...

Ooo, what comes next!

Sangu said...

Nice cliffhanger! I especially liked the reference to finding 'him' early on; it opened up a lot of room for emotion and intrigue!

Dawn Embers said...

Amie - hehe, gonna have to wait and hope I post the rest. ;-)

Sangu - Thanks bunches.

Abby Stevens said...

Oh, the end just makes me want to keep reading!

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

That was a lot of fun to read. And what a kick at the end. I definitely want to know what happens next. And I too immediately thought the body might be the boy.

Dawn Embers said...

Abby - good to hear. That's something I like when posting these... people wanting to read more.

Sonshine- :-) Love the comment. Don't often hear a scene is a kick, so that's fun.

Wait to you all see the end. There is an extra surprise at the very end of the short story.
;-)

Hayley said...

That was really awesome and the dead body at the end was a nice twist. Thanks for sharing, it was really good and I do want to read more about the dead body, so it was very intriguing.

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks Hayley.

It does seem like the body is dead, since that's where I ended. But for those that come back to read these comments I will reassure that the body isn't a dead one. He's alive, though unconscious at the moment.

;-)

Simon C. Larter said...

Ha! Lovely way to start the day... finding a body on the beach (even if it's not dead yet). Nicely done, good lady!

Dawn Embers said...

Why, thank ya dear Simon.
:-D

Fun

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