Friday, June 4, 2010

He Dreams

Time for another blogfest, and for those that like them, there is going to be a second on the following day. Today is dream sequence blogfest and tomorrow is beach scene. Both fun topics, though I'd have to say dreams are my favorite even though I don't write many of them. I think it has to do with the fact that I get story and character ideas from my dreams. Most the main and some secondary mutant characters came from dreams, their abilities. So, I am excited to be taking part in a dream blogfest.

Dream Sequence Blogfest by Amalia T. 
Check out the blog for the other people and their totally awesome dream posts.

Yeah, I'm too lazy to fix the link so it has a cute name instead of just the whole thing. But that's okay.

My dream sequence entry is another one from my mutant novel. This is one I alluded to in a different blogfest entry where there was a sense of urgency. I promised I'd eventually post the dream that Noah had and so here it is. Post with a Promise I kind of think it'd be cool to see Dominic's dreams, since his dreams are prophetic but coded in symbols but I haven't written anything from his point of view. It is rather long but I want the whole dream. *It's a first draft (no edits), this is your warning* lol

The Novel: Standing Ground

Noah is a mutant, as I said before. His power involves the control of energy. At this point in the novel some of the mutants from a group his family is involved in are missing but he hasn't decided if his father and brother are among them or just taking a long time on a hiking trip. His boyfriend just returned from fighting in a war, and things are a little awkward though that probably isn't needed at this point. Anways. That's all you need to know really. Enjoy the dream.

The Dream:

Noah let his head rest upon the large cotton ball feeling pillow, enjoying as his head sunk into the soft material. He didn't often remember dreams, even on the nights his rest felt disturbed by some unknown entity. The few times he remembered, they meant nothing, at least not in the way Dominic's dreams did. Flickers from the day and things he'd seen would pass through his mind but nothing of use. But not this time. The dream he found himself in was different.

It seemed to start the moment his consciousness had drifted away. He went from lying on his bed with his boyfriend to standing in an empty space that looked almost like a field but one he didn't recognize. There were many grassy areas in the city anymore and even the empty space near SS didn't resemble this place.

He spent a few minutes looking around for any sign of life or hints of the possible location but didn't see any at first.

A jumpy woman in all red appeared, as if out of no where, and surrounded him as she moved. She ran in circles, her feet barely visible with the speed of her motions. Yet the rest of her body was visible as if she was barely moving. A weird combination of super fast and slow caused him much concern. There was no space to run away and with her speed, he wouldn't have gotten very far anyways, so he had no choice but to try and listen to the words she said at a speed similar to her motions.

"Are you ready? You better be ready." She beg to jump up and down while moving around him, causing a feeling of dizziness to occur.

"For what?" Noah's speech felt painfully slow in comparison. He had not idea what was going on.

She kept in motion around him, her eyes wide with excitement. "The race, silly, the race. You must run in the race and win. It's soon. Be ready soon because it's gonna start and you can't be caught not running."

He felt trepidation as he asked the next question. "And what if I don't race?"

"You lose." She gave the answer in a dead tone instead of the jumpy happy voice that she's been using before. "You lose everything." That said she disappeared again.

Pictures flashed before his eyes, taking the space of the unknown location in the following moments. He saw his family, everyone he knew from SS, strangers, Dominic and at the end he saw Bastian. As quick as the images started, they stopped but the memory of them lingered in the back of his mind as he prepared himself to race. He was confused but it was obvious exactly what he was about to lose. No matter his lack of understanding when it came to the race aspect, he knew he had to run. Instinctive, he stretched his legs while continuing to look around, hoping to see some signs to help him out or at least let him know when it would start.

The sound of a gun shot echoed within the air surrounding him. Before he could take a step forward he saw a red flash run dash past him and he could only assume it had been the red-dressed woman from before. Taking off, he started to run and managed to pick up speed, keeping her in his sight but never catching up. It amazed him he couldn't even run at that speed but he didn't have the time to think about anything but moving his feet and breathing. It's all he could manage.

Scenery moved by in a blur as his feet pounded upon the uneven ground. They started to ache but he kept going even though he had no idea where the finish line existed, if it did at all. There was no signs of a set course and he was clueless what direction he was facing, let alone where he was running towards. Soon his legs burned with the painful sensation similar to that of fire within the tight muscles. He'd never pushed himself to such physical strain before and couldn't maintain the motions for long. His speed started to wane as he fought for each breath that reached to his lungs. Energy shot out of his body at an alarming rate, making him feel weak and empty. The world started to spin as he began to fall.

In the distance, he heard a muffled voice saying his name.


A hard mass crashed into his body, jolting Noah awake. He almost jumped out of bed, sitting up before he was able to get control of his body. He stared around, startled by the sudden change in scenery, but eventually things came into focus. He was back in his bedroom but on the floor. The pillow was down with him but none of the blankets had moved off the bed. Dominic stood a foot away from him, closer to the door, and was clutching his right arm to his body with a pained look on his face.

"Ouch." Dominic said. "You were shooting off energy in your sleep." He rubbed his arm and winced.


Iapetus999 said...

Hee hee. Of course I'm going to love a running dream!
I have them all the time...but I'm always super fast and I never get tired in them.

BTW in my current WIP one of my characters is discovering she may not like men after all...not sure I'm going to go with it but it's fun to play with. Thought you might like that.

Nice job!

stu said...

I like the dream, and the odd distancing effect produced by the quite long sentences and what were (I assume) a few deliberate moments of telling rather than showing.

Raquel Byrnes said...

I thought it would be hard to get used to reading present tense but I actually liked the immediacy it seemed to foster.

Loved the sequence...the sentences were great at pacing the reader.

Thanks for sharing.

Tessa Conte said...

Wow, great pacing you've got there! Very smooth read. I want to know more about Noah! (we've seen him before, right?)

Amalia T. said...

I think you did a great job with the woman in red-- her dialogue really echoes her speediness, if that makes sense? You can hear her talking at the same hyper pace as her bouncing. Nicely done!

Thanks for participating!

Elaine AM Smith said...

Oh, I like this. You are one step towards that anyway using Noah. Fast paced and shooting out energy was true of both you and Noah.

Cheree said...

Ooh, this is great. Great pace.

Dawn Embers said...

Thanks everyone.

Iapetus - lol. True, you do seem to like running. Interesting character exploration you have. Even if you don't go with it. ;-) I'm in a small contest where we write 15 minutes for 15 days. Today's prompt is Steampunk and that made me think of you. ;-)

stu - Well, I can say the distancing part was kind of on purpose, at least. As for telling, sure I'll pretend that's deliberate in the first draft. Yep... on purpose...

Raquel - I wasn't sure on the present tense, but right now that's how the series is going. It started first person present, but I like the third person more for this. Keeping it for this draft but not sure it will last.

Tessa - Yeah. I've done a few different ones from the novel. Last line blogfest is one and then the dialogue one I think, where the villain acts kinda like a parent.

Amalia - Great blogfest. Glad you like that part. I wrote this first for a contest with a prompt of "write about a race between your main character and somebody else. Ideally, this would happen in the ongoing plot." Overall, it was fun to write.

Elaine - hehehe. :-D thanks. Glad it came out fast paced for you.

Cherree - *takes a bow* thanks to you too for the nice comment.

sarahjayne smythe said...

I like the woman in red and I really like the dialogue here. Excellent entry for the blogfest. :)

Hayley said...

It was intriguing and I was so drawn in by the characters, also the dialogue was great. Glad I got to stop by your post, I hope you get a chance to pop by mine.

Donna Hole said...

Oh I liked this. I read and read without stopping, and that's rare for me. I was so into it I fell off my elbow when it ended.

I'd like to beguile you with compliments, but hell, you know how awesome this is. Great job of weaving dream elements in a real fear for him.


Dawn Embers said...

ooo... more comments!

sarahjayne - the woman was fun to write. Good to know all that dialogue practice in the past has paid off.

Hayley - I'm glad you stopped by. I'll check out yours as soon as I can.
Two blogfests, two homework assignments and writing = busy me.

Donna - Wow. I feel honored by that reaction. :-D

It did get a rewrite. Forgot about that when posting. The first draft was for the contest and the second draft got put in the novel but during March when I wrote 67k that month.

I'm so glad people like it. I have one other dream that didn't go over well with my crit group in the past, so I feel better about dreams now.

Amber Lynae said...

I agree that the dialogue is great. I really think the lady in red is very well done.

And to run without direction.
I like it. great entry.

Kristie Cook said...

This was great, Dawn! It had that dream-like quality to the tone. And shooting energy off in his sleep? Poor Dominic!

Dawn Embers said...

Amber - Glad you like it. :-D This may be a scene I don't change much. I hope to keep it cause the lady in red is fun.

Kristie - Aww, why thank you. Indeed, poor Dominic. His dreams are heavily coded, he has to sleep all the time, the only guy who understands all that is taken already (Noah) and now he's getting shocked from random bursts of energy. You'd think he was a main character with what he goes through. hehehe

drea moore said...

I really enjoyed this :D I'm new to your story & characters but other than a few questions, I could follow the passage and be swept along by the scene.

I'm intrigued by Noah and would love to know more about his abilities:P

Dawn Embers said...

drea - Welcome to my blog. This one is the blog where I'll share my stories so you'll get to learn more at some point or another. Glad you stopped by. Noah's a fun character. I have the first novel first draft done of his, so maybe I'll get to work on more and rewrite soon.


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