Thursday, October 7, 2010

At First Sight Blogfest

I almost missed this blogfest in the midst of hectic homework issues, but here it is. The host is Jacee Drake. Check out the blog link to see the other entries in the blogfest.  Because of homework and two quizzes, I'll have to comment on other people's entries on Friday.

About the Blogfest:
"On October 7th, post an entry describing in about 500 words the moment your MC meets someone of importance for the first time. Could be friend, lover, enemy, long-lost parent, sibling... whoever is important to them - at that point in their life - and the emotion and reaction to the encounter your MC goes through."

This blogfest is the perfect opportunity to skip a huge section of the first part in my blog novel, Cinder Story, and introduce the Prince character. I haven't quite figured out the character's actual name, which will be obvious in the entry below, so be warned. That will be worked on later, I hope.

Entry from Cinder Story:

Sweet black coffee had a heavenly type secret because the color of the liquid always seemed like it forgot to give the drinker a hint as to the sugary goodness that lurked underneath. Of course, none of that mattered when the scalding heat burned Jack's tongue. Cursing, he set the tall paper cup down on the black table top of the coffee shop. It was stupid to drink the coffee right away but he was distracted as he watched the open doors of the shop for signs of his new assignment.

While the outing was a nice change of pace from the shopping, drama and glitter that usually filled his days, he couldn't help but feel apprehensive. The father setting up the daughter for a potential mate didn't fit into the modern philosophy of dating and having to meet the guy first to check him out was plain weird. Yet, there he sat, in a coffeeshop waiting for the Prince of (insert cool business that his father runs but he is part owner of) to arrive. He'd done some initial research after the uncomfortable email conversation he'd had with the guy posing as Ella. The list of interests he'd been given in one email had read like a poorly written online dating profile and was only missing the faked line, "enjoys long walks on the beach." And the other research didn't provide much information on the personal side of Prince's life. Despite his gossip appeal, he'd managed to stay away from media for the most part. There were only a few pictures available, leaving Jack unsure of who would be arriving.

Once his coffee was cool enough to drink, Jack returned to sipping the liquid as he watched the door with only the occasional glance at his phone to check the time. It seemed Prince wasn't into punctuality since he was already ten minutes late.

Twenty minutes after the schedules meet session a group of males in gym clothing entered the coffee shop. At first, Jack shrugged them off until he took a closer look at the last one to come through the door. The young man in black and gray gym clothes that he began to stare at was tall, muscular but not overly so. His dusty blonde hair was short and had a slight wave motion to it.

Enjoying the view, Jack felt a slight panic when the guy let the group and walked over to his table.

"Are you," the blonde glanced at a fancy blackberry phone as he spoke, "Jack?"

"Yes," he tentatively responded, trying to look him over again without it being overly obvious as a sudden familiarity crossed his mind. "Are you..."

"Prince," the man interjected. "That would be me."

In order to hide his panic and the electricity of attraction he'd felt during his first staring session, Jack had to throw something out to keep a conversation going. He couldn't believe the words even as they fell out of his mouth. "So, you really think you're cool enough for that name?"

Seeming to take the question well, Prince chuckled. "Not really but it's what people call me."


Renae said...

What a great entry and I love the title. I wanted to read more! This sounds like a great blogfest!
Well done!

Christopher S. Ledbetter said...

Nice post! interesting... is the father attracted to the guy he's setting up his daughter with? Twisty, unexpected.

Erin Kane Spock said...

Good snippet -- leaves me wanting more.
Man, I am out of the loop on blogfests. I blame Andrew.

Brenda Drake said...

Oooo, the father is attracted to Prince. This sounds like a fun story. I want to read more! Great post! :D

Cinette said...

Interesting...I'd like to see more. Great post!

Dawn Embers said...

Hate to disappoint people but the father is not attracted to the prince. The father's first name is Daniel, and Jack works for him so he has to call him Mr. Daniel. Jack is the "cinder" character, so he's the one who likes Prince but has to pretend he's helping set up him with the boss' daughter, Ella. That's part of what makes it a "cinder(ella) story".

For those that are new, several blogfests in the past has been for this story too. I'm writing it scene by scene for blogfests only.

Tessa Conte said...

YAY it's CINDERS again!

*does happy dance* I've been waiting for an installment for AGES!

Great intro for Prince! (you could always just call him Prince and say his parents were pretentious...) Love it!


J.C. Martin said...

What a cool slant to the classical story! NOW everything becomes clearer! Thanks Dawn! I thought this was a great first meeting scene. Very clever story--would love to read more!

WritersBlockNZ said...

Cool twist on a story! I liked the dialog at the end - very cute

Dawn Embers said...

Thank you, everyone, for the comments. I am loving where the story is going and it makes things even better to see other people appreciating it.

Francine said...


Sorry late with comment!

Nice twist on this, and I'm guessing Jack is in the vein of Dandini (doing the dirty work and none of the fun, only in reverse role), and I think you should stick with Prince, it adds sense of bizarre to the whole.

Fantastic plot. ;)


Dawn Embers said...


Interesting term, Dandini.

Just Another Sarah said...

Wow--so, I'm interested in what will happen next! Great to read this after seeing it in a different pov--thanks again for sharing!


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